Step 1
You trust the online portal.
You bravely log in, complete every Companies House form, attach every proof, and triple-check your company number. You even read the guidance notes. Twice.
Companies Mouse is a parody landing page dedicated to that special feeling when an online filing at Companies House is “kindly rejected” and sent back to paper. Think of it as a friendly, cheese-powered mirror: Companies House guards the register; Companies Mouse chews through your patience.
Companies House manages the official register; Companies Mouse captures the unofficial ritual: you try to file online, the system shrugs, and soon you’re on first-name terms with your local post office.
You bravely log in, complete every Companies House form, attach every proof, and triple-check your company number. You even read the guidance notes. Twice.
Somewhere in the system, a tiny metaphorical mouse modelled on Companies House rules decides this transaction is “not currently available online” and takes a symbolic bite out of your filing.
A familiar letter arrives: please print everything, sign in wet ink, and send to Companies House. Congrats: you are now both a director and an unpaid stationery manager.
(*Not actually real, but suspiciously familiar.) Each story is a love letter to that moment when Companies House quietly says: “Nice online attempt. Now send it on paper.”
“I filed a name change online. Companies House sent me a letter saying the transaction ‘must be done on paper’. Companies Mouse translated it as: We like your new name, but our mice prefer envelopes.”
“One letter wrong in the address. Online form rejected, letter from Companies House attached. Companies Mouse summary: please rebuild the entire alphabet on paper, in triplicate.”
“I resigned myself online and got an email from Companies House telling me to resign again on paper. Companies Mouse whispered: ‘We can’t process your feelings unless they’re in wet ink.’”
“I moved 300 yards down the same street. Companies House replied that the online tool wasn’t available and I should post a form. Companies Mouse added tiny teeth marks around the edge for emphasis.”
“I updated PSC details online. A week later, Companies House asked for everything again in the post. Companies Mouse translation: ‘Sign here to confirm you still exist in the paper universe.’”
Leadership changes can be exciting. At Companies Mouse, we imagine a version of Companies House where every new CEO brings one big promise: “We will go fully digital… eventually, after some more forms.”
In our satirical universe, the newly appointed CEO of Companies House arrives with a bold plan: make things “simpler, safer, smarter”. Companies Mouse hears the speech and translates it into everyday reality:
To be clear: the real Companies House is a serious public body. Companies Mouse simply asks: “Why does it feel harder, not easier, whenever ‘modernisation’ is announced?”
Some clarifications before the mice get to them first.
Have your filings with Companies House ever been “chewed” by unexpected paper requests? We’d love to hear your story and maybe turn it into another mouse-sized anecdote.